Juice bar sign: “Grab these smoothies with full cream milk, skim milk or soy milk.”

Me: “I’ll have a #12 with soy milk, please.”

Juice girl: “We don’t offer soy milk; only full cream or skim.”

Me: “You sure?  Your sign suggests otherwise.”

Juice girl: “No.  Only full cream or skim.”

Me: “…if I go to Coles and buy my own soy milk, will you make it with soy?”

Juice girl: “I have to check…yes, that’s okay.”

I go to Coles, purchase a carton of soy milk, then hand it to the juice girl.  My dream of a smoothie with soy milk—as advertised—was realised.  No discount for supplying my own ingredients.  (I did get the remainder of the milk back though.)

In my seemingly eternal quest to “rid my life of clutter,” I’ve come across a list of goals I prepared as part of a personal development exercise I did in 2005:

What I would like to be, do or have in the next five years

  • Assume no obstacles between the present and anything desired for accomplishment
  • Include endeavours abandoned in the past
  • Let the imagination run wild
  • Go for quantity over quality

I figure that it might be intriguing to go over those goals now to see how well I’ve spent my last seven-ish years, and consider how my goals as of now may differ. More »

Most What?

"Most Afforbable [sic]: the Best Solid Investment Is in Bricks & Mortar"

Corner Clarendon St and Victoria Pde, East Melbourne.  Not sure whether this is some sort of inside joke or really poor proofreading.

Spotted this several weeks ago, actually.  Shame the taggers got to it before my camera did. More »

When everyone else is asleep

One of my favourite times to work is really, really early in the morning.

Practical perks include enjoying your lunch break while everyone else is still making their way to work, finishing when others are going to lunch and being free in the afternoon to do whatever you please.

But to be out and about before sunrise is why I keep doing them—I simply can’t find a way to describe how beautiful I find the serenity, the near silence, the way the shadows fall and the colours of the sky as the sun prepares for the day.

And sadly, my phone camera struggles just as much to convey the real beauty of these moments as I see them. More »

I had a couple posts with more substance lined up, but they’re not ready.  So, for the sake of publishing a post for December here are some of the videos I enjoyed enough during 2011 to bookmark. More »

Passenger Encounters #9

I’m coming down a hill in a C-class tram in a 60kph zone.  It has just started drizzling, which makes the tram more prone to slipping and dramatically increases the distance needed to stop, so I’ve reduced my speed to 45kph.  An expensive black sedan pulls an illegal U-turn with no warning and then stops across the tracks because there isn’t room to complete it without reversing.  I slam on the emergency brakes, go into a skid because of the weather conditions, and end up a couple metres behind him before he actually reverses out of my path.  I come to a rough stop beside the car.  Because the gong is automatically activated during the braking, the driver of the car assumes that I’m after his attention and tries to communicate with me through two layers of glass.  Since I’ve already stopped, I figure I may as well entertain this.

Car driver: “What’s the issue?”

Me: “I’m in a 28-ton vehicle coming down a hill, and you have performed an illegal turn in front of me and then stopped.”

Car driver: More »

Passenger Encounters #8

Passenger: “Does this go to Wellington Street?”

Me: “Yes.  Wellington Street is three stops away.”

Me over PA on approach: “The next stop is Wellington Street.”

Me over PA at stop: “This is Wellington Street.”

Passenger, three stops after Wellington Street: More »

Someone stole my hot water

That is, literally, physically stole it.

Photo of empty hot water cabinet bracket

Where I assume the bits responsible for making the water hot once resided—but then I really have no idea.

Woke up this morning with no hot water, went to work without having showered, came home on my break to sort out what I thought must be a billing problem, and after several calls ended up speaking to the body corporate.

Turns out that last night someone physically stole the mechanical parts of the apartment complex that provide the hot water.  Like, to the entire complex.

Who would do such a thing and why completely eludes me, but there you have it.

Passenger Encounters #7

Kid #1 at Port Melbourne: “Hey, can I have your autograph?”

Kids #2 and #3: “Me too!!”

Me: “…uh, sure…”

I inscribe TRAM DRIVER™ on each kid’s arm with my blue biro.

Kid #2: “Is your name Tim?”

Me: “No, it’s Alex.”

Kid #2: “But why did you write ‘Tim?'”

Me: “That’s ‘Trade Mark’!”

Kid #2: “Oh!”

Me, over the PA system: “The next stop is Kew Junction.”

Unknown female-sounding passenger: “I KNOW THAT!!!”

Me, over the PA system: “My apologies.”