So I’m out and it’s pretty late, and I’ve been instructed not to come home unless I’m in the company of milk and sour cream (more affectionately known by me and close friends as ‘sour cleam’; don’t worry—there’s no intellectual or questionable meaning to it). I think to myself, no problem, there are an abundance of 24-hour supermarkets on the way home—I can hang around here for a good while longer.
I took the long, dreary way home to go past these supermarkets and they all disappointed me in a way that they’d never disappointed me before—they were all bloody shut. More »
Generally, discoveries aren’t all that significant or uplifting. Take the one above—nothing too special about it. But today I made a few discoveries myself that deviate from the norm. More »
One day at high school, I was asked how I wanted to see myself in ten years’ time. I said that I wanted to be buried in money.
Well, ten years aren’t up yet (they can’t possibly be) but I’m definitely buried in bills—and not of the dollar kind. I rushed up to my local library to borrow a book and it turns out that I owe the place a whopping $50.60 in overdue fees. More »
Other citizens of the road will be spared from my arseholiness.
It really is amazing how great one courteous driver can make you feel. I encountered one on the way home and this is why I think I’ll continue to be a courteous driver myself—it lifted my mood to the point where I was reconsidering my New Years resolution. More »
Yes, so it’s a bit late. Shoot me.
Today, I’ve decided upon a New Years resolution. After copping more shite from work, missing out on too many croutons in my lifetime and being fined $85 in dishonour fees, I’ve decided that I’m going to become an arsehole. More »