So there we have it: what started out as a mere fantasy when I was four or five years old has actually been realised. I am now a fully qualified tram driver.
Tag Archive: Reflection
I’ve had enough of computers—at least in the professional sense.
With this decision made, my notice has been handed in at work and now I must decide how the 40 hours a week of keeping the roof over my head will soon be spent. (Not that that roof will always keep my head dry, as it turns out.) And the fact that “something completely different” comprises countless possibilities is somewhat daunting.
People have differences. Sometimes, depending on the relationship between two people, the processing of these differences hurts. Sometimes it hurts badly enough that the best solution seems to be indefinite time apart.
In the relatively distant past, someone close to me made that decision for us. That decision still stands, because I respect their wishes and no longer have any means of knowing if those wishes change. Recently, I was planning to make that decision with someone else. Because it was my decision this time though, I spent many hours reflecting on it first.
And through this reflection I realised that with no committed view to restoring it, “temporarily” terminating a relationship with someone—whether friendship or otherwise—is neither temporary nor a solution at all.
Last week something terrible happened to you, and by the time we found you there was nothing we could do to help you. And so this weekend and well before your time, we had to let you leave us.
It has taken a lot over a while for me to understand and accept one of the most important things I’ve ever learnt, and after distilling it down to a couple sentences it looks shamefully simple—like I always should have just known it:
Things are always changing. Nothing is ever timelessly set in stone. What one says or feels at one specific point in time is ever likelier to become invalid as time continues to progress.
It’s been precisely one year since I acted upon one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made. She still doesn’t have anything to do with me.
“If I liken you to a locust, I’m probably not trying to be nice. Then again, if I liken you to a locust, I probably have quite a good reason. Just a heads-up.”
This is an amusing quip I made on Facebook recently under the influence of heavy fatigue. It’s the only thing I’ve written recently that sounded remotely suitable for the title of this, my fourth online journal incarnation.