Passenger Encounters #8

Passenger: “Does this go to Wellington Street?”

Me: “Yes.  Wellington Street is three stops away.”

Me over PA on approach: “The next stop is Wellington Street.”

Me over PA at stop: “This is Wellington Street.”

Passenger, three stops after Wellington Street: More »

Someone stole my hot water

That is, literally, physically stole it.

Photo of empty hot water cabinet bracket

Where I assume the bits responsible for making the water hot once resided—but then I really have no idea.

Woke up this morning with no hot water, went to work without having showered, came home on my break to sort out what I thought must be a billing problem, and after several calls ended up speaking to the body corporate.

Turns out that last night someone physically stole the mechanical parts of the apartment complex that provide the hot water.  Like, to the entire complex.

Who would do such a thing and why completely eludes me, but there you have it.

Passenger Encounters #7

Kid #1 at Port Melbourne: “Hey, can I have your autograph?”

Kids #2 and #3: “Me too!!”

Me: “…uh, sure…”

I inscribe TRAM DRIVER™ on each kid’s arm with my blue biro.

Kid #2: “Is your name Tim?”

Me: “No, it’s Alex.”

Kid #2: “But why did you write ‘Tim?'”

Me: “That’s ‘Trade Mark’!”

Kid #2: “Oh!”

Passenger Encounters #6

Me, over the PA system: “The next stop is Kew Junction.”

Unknown female-sounding passenger: “I KNOW THAT!!!”

Me, over the PA system: “My apologies.”

“I ❤ Box”

Picture of a car bumper sticker reading "I ❤ (heart) Box"

Got stuck behind this car on my way to work yesterday and was intrigued by her bumper sticker.

The intended reference here eludes me.  Thoughts?

Alex vs. DeLonghi: the caster wheel

My DeLonghi portable air conditioner was subjected to some “unnatural” forces during my previous move, and one of its caster wheels broke off.  A metal rod was protruding from the base of the unit as a result, risking damage to the floor (especially carpeting) underneath it.

Why is this a problem right now, in the middle of winter?  The unit also functions as a dehumidifier, which in this apartment is proving essential for getting washed clothes dry and stopping mould from growing on walls and windowsills.

The obvious solution: call up DeLonghi, order a replacement caster wheel and snap it on.  Estimated effort time required: 20 minutes.

Simple, right? More »

Alex vs. The World: an introduction

I feel like I spend an inordinate amount of time and effort getting simple things done sometimes, especially when those things require the involvement of some external entity.

  • connecting a land-based phone line
  • receiving my tax refund
  • organising a gas connection
  • receiving the correct amount of mobile data for what I’m paying
  • organising repair of a broken vent in the kitchen
  • replacing a broken caster wheel on a home appliance

These are just a few of the things that stand out in my mind as having required ridiculous amounts of work to action, sometimes still even to no avail.  And as I see more and more of my free time lost to such stupid things, I’m getting more and more frustrated. More »

Matthew Broderick photobomb?

Photo of two unidentified individuals at Pink Salmon in Hawthorn, one looking suspiciously like Matthew Broderick

Why so pensive?

Probably wondering how on earth he ended up in Hawthorn.

Is this irony?

Partial view of the front of a dinner menu, with text "Head Chef: Kahn Cook"

Passenger Encounters #5

I’ve pulled into the Victoria Harbour terminus and set down all of my passengers.  Another tram is at the end of the line, waiting until their time to enter the stop.  I’m sitting alone in the passenger saloon on my phone ordering a pizza so that it’s ready for my dinner break.  A woman comes up to my window.

Woman: *aggressive knocking on side of tram*

Me: *hangs up on pizza order, unlocks door and walks onto platform*

Me: “Hi!”

Woman: More »